Tuesday, April 3

The Flight {or sitting next to Mr. Techy}

I did as instructed, got to the airport an hour (ok, 45 minutes) early. I looked at the group ahead
and thought not bad, I can see the screeners. Then I scanned to the right and saw the rest of the
line of eager travelers snaking down an area the length of a small shopping mall. I boarded with
ten minutes to spare.

Upon getting settled in my seat I looked up to see a man with a carry-on the size of a small child
making his way down the aisle. Now I don't fly much, but even I know this is a potential problem
and it's headed my way.

After he took the seat opposite me I scoped him out while he gestured to the attendant to "do something" with his bag. He then proceeded to adjust his bluetooth headset, add some noise
canceling headphones, check his smart phone, hook up his MP3 player and ease his seat back.
Use your imagination as to how long it took Mr. Techy to "power off" all electronic devices.

Next came three hipsters, each one earnestly immersed in staring at their phone. I was not the only
one who snickered when the gal in the middle got her purse strap caught on an armrest and harshly yanked back to the real world.

When the pilot introduced himself it took him a couple minutes to remember the name of the co-pilot.
This made sense later when it took him three tries/bumps to lift off the field. What was it that mom
used to say... practice, practice, practice? I was REALLY looking forward to the landing at that point.

After this sterling take off, the worlds tallest man (who happened to be sitting in front of me), decided
to stretch out. I don't care what you say, those seat backs move a lot closer to you when a guy is
bracing his hands and feet as if it is the only way to keep the plane in the air.

The flight progressed and I noticed my seat mate to the left watching a movie on her 15" laptop
while on my right a guy is gaming on his Kindle Fire. Not to be outdone I proceeded to pull out my
iPod Classic and watch "Mr. Monk Buys a House" on my 2" screen.

As we approached Denver we were notified that there was a "little" turbulence and the landing may be a bit rough but not to worry. (This from the practice, practice practice pilot.) Captain Fun made a series of acute turns that easily put the wings perpendicular to the ground. I thought he was going to execute a full barrel roll for a minute, but apparently he thought better of it and settled for some serious fishtailing upon landing.

As I exited the cabin I noticed it was taking two attendants to help the worlds tallest man unclench his hands from the armrests. And I couldn't help but smile as Mr. Techy tried to find where on earth they had jammed his carry-on.

Survival of the fittest has found it's place in air travel.