Paper or Plastic?

I know I am not the only one who has been on the receiving end of "the glare".

You know, the look you get when you slow things down in the check out line?

Only it wasn't because I brought too many things to the 12 items or less line. (I don't, I count.)

It was because I wrote a check. 

I am so dang sorry... Is the 30 seconds it took me to take out my check book and put pen to paper going to make you late for... for what? Flying the last space shuttle? Honestly, the last time I heard a sigh that mournful was when I overheard a lady at the coffee shop lament that Lost was going off the air.

Buck up. It could have been worse. I could have been out of ink and had to dump my purse to find a different pen. That would have had both of us groaning.

I just want to phone home. I think.

Let's keep it simple.


My phone doesn't need to hold my music, I've got an iPod.


Or games, I am the proud owner of a Nintendo 64.


Or go online, my mac does that just fine. Or email, again I defer to my mac though I must admit I LOVE TO TEXT. Oh yea, texting. Now that was a great idea.


Or take pictures, I have a camera that takes awesome pictures but I must say the convenience of pulling out my phone to click and send a photo is addictive.


So we agree. My phone is just for calling.
Oh, and contacts.
Can't hold a contact list on my iPod, Nintendo, or camera but it's pretty handy on a phone.


It's settled.
My phone is just for calling.
After I take the picture that I send with the text message to someone on my contact list as I play Angry Birds while waiting for a reply.


Yea. My phone is just for calling.

Knife or Fork?

My mom "discovered" English muffins when I was in high school. And yes, she did indeed think they were the best things since sliced bread.

She was absolutely steadfast about how to split the muffin. Sure, a knife was faster and the smooth cut helped it drop into the toaster easier. But a fork... In her opinion a fork was the only way to go. No matter it could take forever to pry the pre-cut (hah!) muffin apart. Once split, the fork created a little moonscape of craters for the butter to melt into and the jam to hold on to.

So I ask what are you? Knife or fork?

Valentines Day? Oh Heck No, It's Chocolate Day!

Seriously, is that not the first thing that comes to mind?

There's a rumor out there that chocolate slows down aging.

Now it may not be true... but it's not a chance I'm willing to take.

So bring it on!

And I am so not picky. You will always find chocolate chips in my freezer, 

and in the summer there's usually a 6-pack of chocolate bars. M&Ms are in a 

bowl in my living room and Quick and Hersheys syrup are at the 

ready in the kitchen for that oh so important chocolate milk fix.

For Christmas many years ago I framed and matted the family chocolate 

cake recipe that was handwritten by my grandmother back in the 40's. 

(It deserved its proper reverence) Learning to bake it was practically a right 

of passage in my family. And once you had it mastered you could ask the 

all important questions... What flavor birthday cake? Grandma's Chocolate. 

What cake to bring to the potluck? Grandma's Chocolate. Memorial Day, 

July 4th, Labor Day? Homemade ice cream and Grandma's Chocolate! 

So Valentine's Day? It's the food of angels. Chocolate.  

Whoa, wait a minute... no one told ME!

Seriously, Sunday was National Pie Day? Where was I? 

Pies are my favorite form of baking, followed closely by muffins, cake and 

home made ice cream. (Okay, so not baking but still home made)

I think the occasion should be honored by releasing the the super secret 

Magic Lemon Meringue Pie recipe.I know, I know, if you grew up anywhere 

between '55 and '75 your mom could get this off the label of sweetened condensed milk. 

But hey, they don't print it on there anymore so this little gem is priceless!

You can play it safe and make it just as the recipe says, but rev up that inner 

Suzy Homemaker and do what my family always does... 1-1/2 times it! 

Makes it just right for an eight inch square pan.

But here's the recipe for the traditional 8" round pie:

Magic Lemon Meringue Pie

1 (8-inch round) graham cracker crust 
(YOU make, NOT purchased! Buy the crumbs, read the box) 
2 eggs, separated (save whites for meringue)

1 (14 oz.) can Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk

fresh lemons squeezed to make 1/2 cup, 6 lemons? 

(or can use Realemon reconstituted lemon juice) 

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

1/4 c. sugar

Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

1. In medium bowl, beat egg yolks; stir in sweetened condensed milk and lemon juice. 

2. Turn into pie shell. 

3. In small bowl, beat egg whites with cream of tartar until foamy; gradually add sugar, 

beating until stiff but not dry. 

4. Spread meringue on top of pie sealing carefully to edge of shell. 

5. Bake 15 minutes or until meringue is golden brown. Cool completely then refrigerate. 

Makes 6 servings. Refrigerate leftovers (hah! there won't be any)

Rules of the Road

I kept quiet over the holidays, hoping to stay on the "nice" list, but enough is enough.


Where is Drivers Ed for guys with shopping carts? (you know what I'm talking about.) 


Here are some simple rules they just don't get:
1. YOU DO NOT stop your cart in the middle of the aisle.
2. YOU DO NOT park on the left side to look at items on the right.
3. YOU DO NOT stop across from another cart and block access down the aisle.


Almost every big box home improvement store has carts now. Heck, even a a test drive around Target won't strip you of your manhood. What's that phrase... practice, practice, practice?


I'm telling you this for your own good because YOU DO NOT want to break the rules while at your local grocery store in an aisle full of moms with their kids trying to make that quick trip to the store for the forgotten dinner ingredient so they can get home and get everyone fed before teacher's conference or ball practice or homework or bath time or date night... 


Remember the look your mom gave you when you went outside to play in your t-shirt after she told you to put on a jacket? Just multiply that by a gazillion. This is my word of warning to you.

Service Call

So it's not enough that I had to deal with my fridge freezing food over the holidays. 
(An iced chunk of 1/2 & 1/2 tends to cool your coffee fast) 


But now on top of that is the issue of getting the repairman out.


I was given a half hour window in which they would call to give me a two hour window for when the guy may show up. Not to mention I had to beg to narrow it down to am or pm.


Now I'm sitting here trying to imagine that same conversation with my one of my clients -- whoops -- I wouldn't have clients if I had that conversation!